Saturday, January 31, 2004
First week of school over and he's doing well. Yesterday I took a book and his pencil case so he could put that in his desk. Got there and Rebecca was talking about fading me out so I showed her the book and gave her the pencil case and went and sat in the sun for an hour and read.
I'm really happy with the unit. I was eavesdropping on how they were handling the kids yesterday (well I could hardly help it ;) and it was all so calm and respectful. I'm playing around with the idea of possibly trialling M there later this year but we'll see. Overall I'm pretty burned out and I think he could do with time away from home. Still we'll get K settled and then see what plays out.
Major, major, major storms here this week. The worst I've ever known. Last night was spectacular. Ma turned up to pick up M -- wish she'd rung to say she was doing it as I would have sent G out to buy K's Mcdonalds fries earlier. She was racing the storm but G brilliantly misjudged where the storm was coming from and drove into the heart of it and then drove back travelling with the storm. Power went out and there was traffic jams with heavy rain all the way home. We lost power here after a brown-out at about 5pm. At 6.30 the storm was over but still no power. G wanted to cook on the BBQ but there was no food to cook (ummmm, yeah, a bit of organisation on my part would helped) so we went out to buy takeaways. It filled in an hour. Came home, ate by candlelight, listened to K bitch endlessly about the lack of TV, light and computer. Went to bed at 8pm. Got excited when the electricity guys were over the road fiddling with the transformer.
Power came back at 1am. We were lucky as there's a backlog from the week's storm and some people have been without power for 24 hours.
http://www.couriermail.news.com.au/common/story_page/
0,5936,8541099%255E952,00.html
It's a C&P job. Oh goody -- more weather predicted.
In other news, G's new agent sent a contract. It's OK, pretty standard but I'm damned if I'm paying 25% of Australian royalties because she's treating it as a foreign market. Appointment with a artslaw lawyer next week. Wish I could go but it's not feasible.
Housebuying ground to a halt again this week as the bank demanded another contract which would have led to their lawyers drawing up new papers which would have led to another round of fees. I don't think so somehow. Not my fault the bank sucks and can't organise anything. Spent the day on the phone arguing and running around drawing up the new contract on Thursday while spewing vitriol but then my lawyer rang yesterday to say it was all fine and the bank lawyers didn't understand WTF the bank was on about in any case.
Already beginning to see M losing stability on the tricyclic. Damn it! I'll play with dosage timing.
House remains a total disaster area. Am managing to wash clothes, wash dishes and feed people. Am doing a fine line in nasty comments to people who are not even doing that. Here's a clue -- mowing the lawn once a month doesn't equal daily housework.
I'm really happy with the unit. I was eavesdropping on how they were handling the kids yesterday (well I could hardly help it ;) and it was all so calm and respectful. I'm playing around with the idea of possibly trialling M there later this year but we'll see. Overall I'm pretty burned out and I think he could do with time away from home. Still we'll get K settled and then see what plays out.
Major, major, major storms here this week. The worst I've ever known. Last night was spectacular. Ma turned up to pick up M -- wish she'd rung to say she was doing it as I would have sent G out to buy K's Mcdonalds fries earlier. She was racing the storm but G brilliantly misjudged where the storm was coming from and drove into the heart of it and then drove back travelling with the storm. Power went out and there was traffic jams with heavy rain all the way home. We lost power here after a brown-out at about 5pm. At 6.30 the storm was over but still no power. G wanted to cook on the BBQ but there was no food to cook (ummmm, yeah, a bit of organisation on my part would helped) so we went out to buy takeaways. It filled in an hour. Came home, ate by candlelight, listened to K bitch endlessly about the lack of TV, light and computer. Went to bed at 8pm. Got excited when the electricity guys were over the road fiddling with the transformer.
Power came back at 1am. We were lucky as there's a backlog from the week's storm and some people have been without power for 24 hours.
http://www.couriermail.news.com.au/common/story_page/
0,5936,8541099%255E952,00.html
It's a C&P job. Oh goody -- more weather predicted.
In other news, G's new agent sent a contract. It's OK, pretty standard but I'm damned if I'm paying 25% of Australian royalties because she's treating it as a foreign market. Appointment with a artslaw lawyer next week. Wish I could go but it's not feasible.
Housebuying ground to a halt again this week as the bank demanded another contract which would have led to their lawyers drawing up new papers which would have led to another round of fees. I don't think so somehow. Not my fault the bank sucks and can't organise anything. Spent the day on the phone arguing and running around drawing up the new contract on Thursday while spewing vitriol but then my lawyer rang yesterday to say it was all fine and the bank lawyers didn't understand WTF the bank was on about in any case.
Already beginning to see M losing stability on the tricyclic. Damn it! I'll play with dosage timing.
House remains a total disaster area. Am managing to wash clothes, wash dishes and feed people. Am doing a fine line in nasty comments to people who are not even doing that. Here's a clue -- mowing the lawn once a month doesn't equal daily housework.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
K's first day of school.
He wasn't keen to wear his uniform, get in the car, get out of the car, walk to the unit...
Finally got him in there and he met Rebecca who will be his aide in the classroom. We went and met his teacher, looked at his desk and then went back to the unit to do some baseline assessment.
Well.
At first he wasn't keen to co-operate but then Rebecca got him engaged with it and he showed her about one tenth of what he is capable of.
She had a quick discussion with Mel and we all agreed that he's way beyond the first grade curriculum and will be a behaviour problem if he has to sit and learn his numbers and his alphabet for weeks on end. So we accelerated him to grade two. Yeeeeeeeeeesssssss! There's another bright HFA kid in the class who he can be teamed up with which beats teaming him up with the HFA grade one kid who is not very bright at all.
I can't believe how easy it was! When I tried to discuss what K needed with the guidance officer last year, I was told that acceleration would only be considered when there was an IQ test done and it would only be done after serious consideration and he personally had never met a kid with Aspergers who needed acceleration. You betcha I was tempted to stick my head into the guidance officer's office and say meet K the accelerated Aspergers child but I didn't in case he got involved and vetoed it.
We also all agreed that academics is not the focus of this year but rather we are focused on getting him to co-operate and to learn how to learn in a classroom environment.
I'm relieved :).
On the debit side, the new school principal is the arsehole who reported me to district office for illegal homeschooling. Eeeeeeep. Just hope he assumes I am still legal. Eeeeeeeep
He wasn't keen to wear his uniform, get in the car, get out of the car, walk to the unit...
Finally got him in there and he met Rebecca who will be his aide in the classroom. We went and met his teacher, looked at his desk and then went back to the unit to do some baseline assessment.
Well.
At first he wasn't keen to co-operate but then Rebecca got him engaged with it and he showed her about one tenth of what he is capable of.
She had a quick discussion with Mel and we all agreed that he's way beyond the first grade curriculum and will be a behaviour problem if he has to sit and learn his numbers and his alphabet for weeks on end. So we accelerated him to grade two. Yeeeeeeeeeesssssss! There's another bright HFA kid in the class who he can be teamed up with which beats teaming him up with the HFA grade one kid who is not very bright at all.
I can't believe how easy it was! When I tried to discuss what K needed with the guidance officer last year, I was told that acceleration would only be considered when there was an IQ test done and it would only be done after serious consideration and he personally had never met a kid with Aspergers who needed acceleration. You betcha I was tempted to stick my head into the guidance officer's office and say meet K the accelerated Aspergers child but I didn't in case he got involved and vetoed it.
We also all agreed that academics is not the focus of this year but rather we are focused on getting him to co-operate and to learn how to learn in a classroom environment.
I'm relieved :).
On the debit side, the new school principal is the arsehole who reported me to district office for illegal homeschooling. Eeeeeeep. Just hope he assumes I am still legal. Eeeeeeeep
Monday, January 26, 2004
Must develop self discipline and write more often.
Must update blogroll.
We did go to Bribie and it was a good day. I'd been avoiding seeing one family as their kids were so freaking awful the last couple of times we got together but they were great. We've always seen them in term time and my personal theory is that they were difficult because they find school such a struggle. M was terrific. Got worked up when the other kids were killing harlequin beetles :( but I think he had a point. There was a severe algae bloom and people were still walking on the beaches despite the signage =:0.
Bought all K's school stuff -- it cost about $30 as opposed to the $133 if you bought it through the school. Still have to buy textbooks but won't do that until he's had some assessment for placement. Waaaaaah my baby's going to school!
Last day of childcare was sad. We picked him up at 1pm because he wasn't coping with being there. Fei gave him a beautiful sea shell as a good bye present. It was hard to get out the door as everyone wanted to have hugs and say good bye and cry and make sure that we would be in touch.
Spectacular storms the last couple of nights with sheet and fork lightning. Thunder so loud the whole house was shaking. We didn't lose power which was a relief as last year we lost power in every storm.
K went to a birthday party yesterday but didn't do particularly well. He only knew the birthday girl and was very aloof and shy. ::sigh:: If I'd known nobody else from childcare was going, we would have skipped the party. I stayed home and edited G's latest book. He came home and we had a major barney. He wasn't receptive to what I had to say and got very defensive about the amount of swearing in the book. IMO he's crossed the line in terms of acceptability but ultimately it's Scholastic's call. The book works overall but we had a couple of tiffs over trivia. I ended up really upset because I'm feeling very taken for granted and not particularly respected. Being called a nitpicker and petty got me very riled up. I'm an editor -- that's what I do. But I think the real issue is the feelings I hold about being trapped at home for the foreseeable future and the inability to do any sustained work or meet any deadlines with confidence. I feel like he is taking and taking without much giving. He did admit that he constantly tells other people how amazing I am and how much I do to keep this household functioning but rarely tells me. Promised to make an effort.
Today we're buying K school shoes (my baby!) and possibly engaging with housework. It promises to be hot again.
Must update blogroll.
We did go to Bribie and it was a good day. I'd been avoiding seeing one family as their kids were so freaking awful the last couple of times we got together but they were great. We've always seen them in term time and my personal theory is that they were difficult because they find school such a struggle. M was terrific. Got worked up when the other kids were killing harlequin beetles :( but I think he had a point. There was a severe algae bloom and people were still walking on the beaches despite the signage =:0.
Bought all K's school stuff -- it cost about $30 as opposed to the $133 if you bought it through the school. Still have to buy textbooks but won't do that until he's had some assessment for placement. Waaaaaah my baby's going to school!
Last day of childcare was sad. We picked him up at 1pm because he wasn't coping with being there. Fei gave him a beautiful sea shell as a good bye present. It was hard to get out the door as everyone wanted to have hugs and say good bye and cry and make sure that we would be in touch.
Spectacular storms the last couple of nights with sheet and fork lightning. Thunder so loud the whole house was shaking. We didn't lose power which was a relief as last year we lost power in every storm.
K went to a birthday party yesterday but didn't do particularly well. He only knew the birthday girl and was very aloof and shy. ::sigh:: If I'd known nobody else from childcare was going, we would have skipped the party. I stayed home and edited G's latest book. He came home and we had a major barney. He wasn't receptive to what I had to say and got very defensive about the amount of swearing in the book. IMO he's crossed the line in terms of acceptability but ultimately it's Scholastic's call. The book works overall but we had a couple of tiffs over trivia. I ended up really upset because I'm feeling very taken for granted and not particularly respected. Being called a nitpicker and petty got me very riled up. I'm an editor -- that's what I do. But I think the real issue is the feelings I hold about being trapped at home for the foreseeable future and the inability to do any sustained work or meet any deadlines with confidence. I feel like he is taking and taking without much giving. He did admit that he constantly tells other people how amazing I am and how much I do to keep this household functioning but rarely tells me. Promised to make an effort.
Today we're buying K school shoes (my baby!) and possibly engaging with housework. It promises to be hot again.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Bribie looks like it is cancelled for tomorrow too as there is a severe algae bloom on the beaches. Damn.
M's doing well still on the tricyclic. He's working really hard on reading 100 books for the local library scheme. He's already earned one book and a book on tape.
Took K to the city today. He had an appointment with the gasto. My mother came along. It was a fairly fraught sort of an outing. A medium meltdown in David Jones, a major meltdown in the ABC shop where he wasn't leaving without a Thomas video. ::sigh::. Got to the gastro where he wasn't running 20 minutes late but rather 45 minutes late.
Fantastic.
K was beautifully behaved there. Dr P was taken aback that we had made precisely zero progress in the last 6 weeks. Well, that's probably because K's bowels have never really worked the way one would expect from birth. He was seriously constipated while totally breastfed and the salmonella at 14 months just completely f*cked things up.
The deal now is that we do daily enemas for the next 12 days and see what happens. Nothing in my cheerful mind. And then we schedule further investigations. We briefly discussed local vs general anaesthetic but, ummm, if it takes 5 adults to hold him down to have a blood test, I think we're fairly safe in saying a general is a given. His thyroid was completely normal.
As usual, I'm burned out, unable to cope and tying a knot in various things as to be able to carry on. We forgot to give M his med this afternoon and he was pretty vile, the lawyer rang to harass me about when the settlement date was (ummm how's about we stick with the date we discussed a week ago, the date which gives plenty of time for the first home owners grant to settle), I finally said to her when she was ranting at me about how hard it was to continually reschedule settlement that I was dealing with two kids with autism and doing the best that I can. She shut up after that.
Sent G off to buy efalex as we ran out on the weekend and I think we're seeing the results of that. Told him to enquire as to the price of calcium powder and folic acid. He came home with folic acid and totally unsuitable calcium tablets. I was extremely rude and called him names and he was extremely patient and said he'd f*cked up. He went back and got a credit for the calcium and maud knows we will use it pretty soon.
He finished a book today. Yippee another pressure. Made a deal that I would get it edited by Friday or not at all. I know that if this week turns to drama, there is no way I will get it edited next week when K starts school.
Speaking of which he is so sad at leaving childcare. Monday was heartbreaking, Fei and I both cried at how sad he is. We're playing the rest of the week by ear as he is simply not coping with being there and knowing it is over.
My mother helped tremendously (not ;) by saying today that she just doesn't trust the school to love K the way childcare did.
M's doing well still on the tricyclic. He's working really hard on reading 100 books for the local library scheme. He's already earned one book and a book on tape.
Took K to the city today. He had an appointment with the gasto. My mother came along. It was a fairly fraught sort of an outing. A medium meltdown in David Jones, a major meltdown in the ABC shop where he wasn't leaving without a Thomas video. ::sigh::. Got to the gastro where he wasn't running 20 minutes late but rather 45 minutes late.
Fantastic.
K was beautifully behaved there. Dr P was taken aback that we had made precisely zero progress in the last 6 weeks. Well, that's probably because K's bowels have never really worked the way one would expect from birth. He was seriously constipated while totally breastfed and the salmonella at 14 months just completely f*cked things up.
The deal now is that we do daily enemas for the next 12 days and see what happens. Nothing in my cheerful mind. And then we schedule further investigations. We briefly discussed local vs general anaesthetic but, ummm, if it takes 5 adults to hold him down to have a blood test, I think we're fairly safe in saying a general is a given. His thyroid was completely normal.
As usual, I'm burned out, unable to cope and tying a knot in various things as to be able to carry on. We forgot to give M his med this afternoon and he was pretty vile, the lawyer rang to harass me about when the settlement date was (ummm how's about we stick with the date we discussed a week ago, the date which gives plenty of time for the first home owners grant to settle), I finally said to her when she was ranting at me about how hard it was to continually reschedule settlement that I was dealing with two kids with autism and doing the best that I can. She shut up after that.
Sent G off to buy efalex as we ran out on the weekend and I think we're seeing the results of that. Told him to enquire as to the price of calcium powder and folic acid. He came home with folic acid and totally unsuitable calcium tablets. I was extremely rude and called him names and he was extremely patient and said he'd f*cked up. He went back and got a credit for the calcium and maud knows we will use it pretty soon.
He finished a book today. Yippee another pressure. Made a deal that I would get it edited by Friday or not at all. I know that if this week turns to drama, there is no way I will get it edited next week when K starts school.
Speaking of which he is so sad at leaving childcare. Monday was heartbreaking, Fei and I both cried at how sad he is. We're playing the rest of the week by ear as he is simply not coping with being there and knowing it is over.
My mother helped tremendously (not ;) by saying today that she just doesn't trust the school to love K the way childcare did.
Friday, January 16, 2004
Library
Bank
Find JP, do stat dec
Stuff to lawyer for Ma
Logan diggers, join so as to get movie discount pass
Do washing try and get it dry.
Pay bills on line
Wheeeeeeeee! A day of excitement lies ahead. The drought has finally broken and it has been raining heavily for 2 days now. We were supposed to go to Bribie Island today but cancelled due to the rain. 5 high energy boys in L's tiny flat would be a recipe for disaster.
M's stable at last, he's been a delight all week. I'm drifting more and more to the conclusion we are battling bipolar rather than simple anxiety.
G worked yesterday, was happy with one session, less happy with the other one but as it sounds like lots of parents dumped kids and ran, whether the kids wanted to be there or not, it's hardly his fault.
Having to apply more ingenuity to getting K's supplements into him. He's finally jacked up completely at all the supplements in his juice so we're having to disguise them in various ways. Takes ages. Slacked off a couple of days and I could really see the difference in him. We took him to the RCH on Wednesday for his blood tests and OMFG it was appalling. Took 5 adults to hold him down but at least we didn't have to use the jacket or sedate him. They were very good, much better than the other clinic we used. He just panicked, poor dot. They took blood from his arm and then did a finger stick to get the rest of it. Now I don't know whether to hope the tests show something easily fixable or nothing at all. I don't fancy lifelong thyroid issues and TBH he's not really got enough symptoms IMO for it to be thyroid. Worst case scenario is thyroid needing regular blood tests. Some answers would be nice. Hell, any answers would be nice.
Bank
Find JP, do stat dec
Stuff to lawyer for Ma
Logan diggers, join so as to get movie discount pass
Do washing try and get it dry.
Pay bills on line
Wheeeeeeeee! A day of excitement lies ahead. The drought has finally broken and it has been raining heavily for 2 days now. We were supposed to go to Bribie Island today but cancelled due to the rain. 5 high energy boys in L's tiny flat would be a recipe for disaster.
M's stable at last, he's been a delight all week. I'm drifting more and more to the conclusion we are battling bipolar rather than simple anxiety.
G worked yesterday, was happy with one session, less happy with the other one but as it sounds like lots of parents dumped kids and ran, whether the kids wanted to be there or not, it's hardly his fault.
Having to apply more ingenuity to getting K's supplements into him. He's finally jacked up completely at all the supplements in his juice so we're having to disguise them in various ways. Takes ages. Slacked off a couple of days and I could really see the difference in him. We took him to the RCH on Wednesday for his blood tests and OMFG it was appalling. Took 5 adults to hold him down but at least we didn't have to use the jacket or sedate him. They were very good, much better than the other clinic we used. He just panicked, poor dot. They took blood from his arm and then did a finger stick to get the rest of it. Now I don't know whether to hope the tests show something easily fixable or nothing at all. I don't fancy lifelong thyroid issues and TBH he's not really got enough symptoms IMO for it to be thyroid. Worst case scenario is thyroid needing regular blood tests. Some answers would be nice. Hell, any answers would be nice.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Oh good grief. Just checked M's meds and we're almost out of the tricyclic. The paed's away on holiday this week, our GPs have recently decided they will not issue repeat scripts over the phone -- this could get to be a hassle. I don't know if I can talk the pharmacist into giving me the pills and getting the script later. ::sigh::. There was a box at the back of the cupboard which fooled me into thinking I had a month's supply but it's the wrong strength.
Off to the city today. With any luck, I'll be able to sort the FHOG mess out using the faxed copy of the original contract. Pigs might fly out my bum too. I need to buy thank you presents for the childcare staff as well and a present for my nephew.
G's working on Thursday which is a pain. Meagan's coming for respite and the week's too busy to reschedule her. I wish he'd stop scheduling work for Thursdays unless it is the only day they will have him. I know this appearance was flexible to start with.
Off to the city today. With any luck, I'll be able to sort the FHOG mess out using the faxed copy of the original contract. Pigs might fly out my bum too. I need to buy thank you presents for the childcare staff as well and a present for my nephew.
G's working on Thursday which is a pain. Meagan's coming for respite and the week's too busy to reschedule her. I wish he'd stop scheduling work for Thursdays unless it is the only day they will have him. I know this appearance was flexible to start with.
Monday, January 12, 2004
Got lots of washing done and hung on the line. Go me.
Got lots of housework done. Go me.
Rang Royal Childrens about bringing K in for blood tests and they said they were sure they could do it without any undue trauma. Go them.
Rang school to find out when could buy uniform and should be able to do it next week. Go me.
Thought deep thoughts about sorting out grant mess. Will go to city tomorrow and see what they will want in the way of proof. Go me.
Received comment from troll who appears to feel the need to share the love. Go troll. Am absolutely cut to quick by troll's expert analysis of my IQ and my child's mental health. Not. Am not entirely certain troll is not my beloved sister ;)
M's had a most excellent day so I guess it's a few weeks/months on tricyclics until we're back on the pharmaceutical merry-go-round.
Got lots of housework done. Go me.
Rang Royal Childrens about bringing K in for blood tests and they said they were sure they could do it without any undue trauma. Go them.
Rang school to find out when could buy uniform and should be able to do it next week. Go me.
Thought deep thoughts about sorting out grant mess. Will go to city tomorrow and see what they will want in the way of proof. Go me.
Received comment from troll who appears to feel the need to share the love. Go troll. Am absolutely cut to quick by troll's expert analysis of my IQ and my child's mental health. Not. Am not entirely certain troll is not my beloved sister ;)
M's had a most excellent day so I guess it's a few weeks/months on tricyclics until we're back on the pharmaceutical merry-go-round.
Yick, it's not even 9am and it's nearly 90 degrees and the humidity is out of this world.
House is totally trashed after last week's drama so I have to force myself to try and tidy it even on a superficial level.
M's doing better since I switched him back to the tricyclic. He had a migraine last night but seems OK today.
We had a good time at the picnic. K was happy to see Julia. He's doing so well socially, it's wonderful to see.
Must get back to the business of excavating the house.
House is totally trashed after last week's drama so I have to force myself to try and tidy it even on a superficial level.
M's doing better since I switched him back to the tricyclic. He had a migraine last night but seems OK today.
We had a good time at the picnic. K was happy to see Julia. He's doing so well socially, it's wonderful to see.
Must get back to the business of excavating the house.
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Things are pretty grim here. M has not improved on depakote. We started the lower dose on Friday night and he was insane yesterday. Ranting and raving and totally out of control. K wanted to swim and I said M could come as well if he could control himself. he said he could but instantly began to list all the circumstances which would justify him losing it at K.
Told him he couldn't swim in that case.
He climbed the pool fence =:0.
I'm done with depakote. Michael's incredulous at what I am describing because depakote should not mess with mood and M should not be having these weird reactions to it. It's not a parenting issue as he's totally unreachable when he's in the ranting part of the reaction.
G and I were fighting constantly over management of M until I pointed out that he was holding me to a higher standard than he was holding himself. He was telling me it was OK for him to be mean to me because I was being mean first... I pointed out that I am the one who is acutely sleep deprived and he's slept every night and I'm the one who has been in the firing line mostly with M as M targets me.
The house is not settling on Monday, there's huge issues with the first home owners scheme and I need to find the original contract and prove that we signed it before they changed the rules in late October. The mortgage company is still being bizarre over the certificate of currency and neither me nor my lawyer can figure out what they want. Of course I don't have the original contract as it was given to the mortgage broker who never returned it so I am going to have to prove my case using photocopies. I do not understand why the grant form was not submitted in early October in the first place.
If we don't get that $7000, we are going to be seriously screwed financially for the next year or so.
It's raining. We're supposed to go to a picnic but I think it will be relocated to my mother's house. K's old aide is in town for a visit. No matter what I'm leaving M at home with G.
Told him he couldn't swim in that case.
He climbed the pool fence =:0.
I'm done with depakote. Michael's incredulous at what I am describing because depakote should not mess with mood and M should not be having these weird reactions to it. It's not a parenting issue as he's totally unreachable when he's in the ranting part of the reaction.
G and I were fighting constantly over management of M until I pointed out that he was holding me to a higher standard than he was holding himself. He was telling me it was OK for him to be mean to me because I was being mean first... I pointed out that I am the one who is acutely sleep deprived and he's slept every night and I'm the one who has been in the firing line mostly with M as M targets me.
The house is not settling on Monday, there's huge issues with the first home owners scheme and I need to find the original contract and prove that we signed it before they changed the rules in late October. The mortgage company is still being bizarre over the certificate of currency and neither me nor my lawyer can figure out what they want. Of course I don't have the original contract as it was given to the mortgage broker who never returned it so I am going to have to prove my case using photocopies. I do not understand why the grant form was not submitted in early October in the first place.
If we don't get that $7000, we are going to be seriously screwed financially for the next year or so.
It's raining. We're supposed to go to a picnic but I think it will be relocated to my mother's house. K's old aide is in town for a visit. No matter what I'm leaving M at home with G.
Thursday, January 08, 2004
8.10 in the evening and 90 degrees. That's too hot to cope with. A storm came over and went away again.
Slept very badly again last night. Meagan came for respite and took M to Mt Tambourine and Cedar Creek so that I could sleep. She told me off for not ringing her over Xmas when things were really bad as she would have come and helped with M.
M's more stable today, only one weeping outburst.
Slept very badly again last night. Meagan came for respite and took M to Mt Tambourine and Cedar Creek so that I could sleep. She told me off for not ringing her over Xmas when things were really bad as she would have come and helped with M.
M's more stable today, only one weeping outburst.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Hot, really hot. 100 degrees sort of hot.
I couldn't sleep last night and finally took a clonidine and fell asleep at about 3.30am. Am not happy joyous person today as I woke at 6.30am for the day.
Took K for his thyroid blood test. G had insisted on buying emla but I am here to tell you it only works if the person remains still. K most certainly did not. He sat in the chair and you could see he wanted to be good but once that needle went in he lost it. 4 adults holding him and he still got the needle out. They didn't have a butterfly needle but will get one in for next time and I think I will sedate him. The woman doing the bloods said that she thinks emla is an expensive waste of time for most kids with blood tests.
Came home. M was fairly unpleasant for most of the day although he slept reasonably well last night. He was up all night on Monday night. Still not eating.
We went swimming this afternoon and it went OK. M got bit by an ant and got phobic about ants after that. K is getting entirely too reckless but I suspect he will be swimming very soon without aid.
We may have finally done everything for the housebuying. We had one more round of drama about the insurance certificate but I think it was finally faxed to the lawyer in an acceptable form. Here's hoping we do get the first home owner's grant on settlement.
Children who decide that the Heinz tomato sauce that I have been buying forever tastes funny and is a bad batch would be well advised to not have been eating the sauce for a week before making announcement. There's a distinct lack of credibility about it.
I couldn't sleep last night and finally took a clonidine and fell asleep at about 3.30am. Am not happy joyous person today as I woke at 6.30am for the day.
Took K for his thyroid blood test. G had insisted on buying emla but I am here to tell you it only works if the person remains still. K most certainly did not. He sat in the chair and you could see he wanted to be good but once that needle went in he lost it. 4 adults holding him and he still got the needle out. They didn't have a butterfly needle but will get one in for next time and I think I will sedate him. The woman doing the bloods said that she thinks emla is an expensive waste of time for most kids with blood tests.
Came home. M was fairly unpleasant for most of the day although he slept reasonably well last night. He was up all night on Monday night. Still not eating.
We went swimming this afternoon and it went OK. M got bit by an ant and got phobic about ants after that. K is getting entirely too reckless but I suspect he will be swimming very soon without aid.
We may have finally done everything for the housebuying. We had one more round of drama about the insurance certificate but I think it was finally faxed to the lawyer in an acceptable form. Here's hoping we do get the first home owner's grant on settlement.
Children who decide that the Heinz tomato sauce that I have been buying forever tastes funny and is a bad batch would be well advised to not have been eating the sauce for a week before making announcement. There's a distinct lack of credibility about it.
Monday, January 05, 2004
Gah. Bleh. Feh.
K went back to childcare today. He wasn't all that keen to go and was oppositional in the extreme this morning. Had a fantastic day at childcare though and was very happy and talking with very little echolalia. Ma rang to say that she had negotiated with Playcare for us to have childcare in the holidays for him. Said she hadn't asked me in case they refused to fund it :).
M was diabolical today. I got him up at 8.30am and Was Very Clear Indeed that he could have an hour on the computer after eating breakfast but we were leaving at 10 for ROTK.
OMFG.
9.55am all hell broke loose. He was swearing at me because I should have gotten him out of bed earlier and was raging out of control. He calmed down and was devastated but cripes. What a great storm over nothing.
Went to the Hyperdome and learnt that the movie was on at 11.30. Ooooooops. He coped with that and we hung out at the petshop and the library. Had to buy lunch which blew the budget a bit. Went into the theatre and M decided he was sitting in the middle of the second section.
Right beside some horrible little teenage weasels. In a virtually empty theatre. And there was no way he was moving. I really wanted M to sit in between me and G so that any irritation factor was confined to the family but there was NO way I was sitting beside teenage boy. They had drinks to slurp, popcorn to eat, chips to crunch, mobiles to talk on.... yeeech.
Teenage boy got M right beside him. It turned out to be karmic justice as M annoyed him so much he moved. He was lucky I didn't sit beside him because I was not enchanted by how he clattered his metal beads on his bloody teeth in the boring bits.
Loved ROTK even more on second viewing. M did talk in a loud voice at times but I managed to hiss him quiet. Then I realised I basically didn't care as everyone around us was talking, eating loud food and/or going for little walks. At the end both M and G were weeping bitterly. I was surprised that M was so enraptured by the ending -- I had visions of having to leave as he was unable to cope. He insisted on staying for the full credits too.
Came home to more mail from the insurance company. ::sigh:: they issued another certificate of currency in the wrong names. I meant to get G to ring them to see if they got the stuff we posted last week after they lost the faxes. They also sent me a letter to say that the credit card I used to pay the insurance was in fact invalid. I think I'm finally becoming numb.
There was also a parcel from my dear friend Maria, who had sent heaps more CDRoms her kids don't use/didn't like. M is very happy and G is very happy.
NY agent still hasn't sent contract. Bad agent :(.
A very dear old friend resurfaced on the weekend. He's the man I probably would have married if I hadn't married Ged. He was very close to both of us and acted as our marriage celebrant and conducted Ambrose's funeral. It's really good to have contact again -- things became attenuated when his career came crashing to the ground and he started a business and we left Chch. He was talking about how he is still single and how much he admires us for still being together... at times it seems like we are still together through pure exhaustion ;).
K went back to childcare today. He wasn't all that keen to go and was oppositional in the extreme this morning. Had a fantastic day at childcare though and was very happy and talking with very little echolalia. Ma rang to say that she had negotiated with Playcare for us to have childcare in the holidays for him. Said she hadn't asked me in case they refused to fund it :).
M was diabolical today. I got him up at 8.30am and Was Very Clear Indeed that he could have an hour on the computer after eating breakfast but we were leaving at 10 for ROTK.
OMFG.
9.55am all hell broke loose. He was swearing at me because I should have gotten him out of bed earlier and was raging out of control. He calmed down and was devastated but cripes. What a great storm over nothing.
Went to the Hyperdome and learnt that the movie was on at 11.30. Ooooooops. He coped with that and we hung out at the petshop and the library. Had to buy lunch which blew the budget a bit. Went into the theatre and M decided he was sitting in the middle of the second section.
Right beside some horrible little teenage weasels. In a virtually empty theatre. And there was no way he was moving. I really wanted M to sit in between me and G so that any irritation factor was confined to the family but there was NO way I was sitting beside teenage boy. They had drinks to slurp, popcorn to eat, chips to crunch, mobiles to talk on.... yeeech.
Teenage boy got M right beside him. It turned out to be karmic justice as M annoyed him so much he moved. He was lucky I didn't sit beside him because I was not enchanted by how he clattered his metal beads on his bloody teeth in the boring bits.
Loved ROTK even more on second viewing. M did talk in a loud voice at times but I managed to hiss him quiet. Then I realised I basically didn't care as everyone around us was talking, eating loud food and/or going for little walks. At the end both M and G were weeping bitterly. I was surprised that M was so enraptured by the ending -- I had visions of having to leave as he was unable to cope. He insisted on staying for the full credits too.
Came home to more mail from the insurance company. ::sigh:: they issued another certificate of currency in the wrong names. I meant to get G to ring them to see if they got the stuff we posted last week after they lost the faxes. They also sent me a letter to say that the credit card I used to pay the insurance was in fact invalid. I think I'm finally becoming numb.
There was also a parcel from my dear friend Maria, who had sent heaps more CDRoms her kids don't use/didn't like. M is very happy and G is very happy.
NY agent still hasn't sent contract. Bad agent :(.
A very dear old friend resurfaced on the weekend. He's the man I probably would have married if I hadn't married Ged. He was very close to both of us and acted as our marriage celebrant and conducted Ambrose's funeral. It's really good to have contact again -- things became attenuated when his career came crashing to the ground and he started a business and we left Chch. He was talking about how he is still single and how much he admires us for still being together... at times it seems like we are still together through pure exhaustion ;).
Sunday, January 04, 2004
Thanks for the comments :). M was wonderful last night, pleasant, co-operative and happy. I was doing a happy dance.
Today, not so good. Got up, hit his brother, paid me a $1 fine most unwillingly but he did pay it. We went to the museum as I figured it was time we actually did something on our summer holiday ;). K ran round like a fart in a bottle, with the attention span of a hyperactive flea.
M got a bit snarky in the lift which was crowded, a lot snarky in the carpark and I gave him another dose of depakote. This in retrospect was Not A Good Idea. Came home, assembled stupid plastic dinosaur with mislabelled pieces, cried a lot, refused to eat lunch and was generally vile.
Rang Michael and he pointed out that I had probably overdosed M. Oooooooops. We talked for a long time about what other options and I'm feeling better as he said there were in fact quite a few other options we can explore if the depakote fails. He must have an incredibly patient wife as he was willing to talk to me for a hell of a long time in the middle of a Sunday family afternoon about other treatment options.
Today, not so good. Got up, hit his brother, paid me a $1 fine most unwillingly but he did pay it. We went to the museum as I figured it was time we actually did something on our summer holiday ;). K ran round like a fart in a bottle, with the attention span of a hyperactive flea.
M got a bit snarky in the lift which was crowded, a lot snarky in the carpark and I gave him another dose of depakote. This in retrospect was Not A Good Idea. Came home, assembled stupid plastic dinosaur with mislabelled pieces, cried a lot, refused to eat lunch and was generally vile.
Rang Michael and he pointed out that I had probably overdosed M. Oooooooops. We talked for a long time about what other options and I'm feeling better as he said there were in fact quite a few other options we can explore if the depakote fails. He must have an incredibly patient wife as he was willing to talk to me for a hell of a long time in the middle of a Sunday family afternoon about other treatment options.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
Bleh. It's been an horrific 24 hours. M started on the prozac ,and lo and fucking behold, within 3 doses was off the planet, verbally and physically abusive. He had a dreadful meltdown that went on for over an hour. K was beyond distressed and was weeping bitterly. I rang Michael expecting him to ring me back fairly quickly as he'd said he would be available over the break.
Took M to my parents where I drank sherry and cried a lot. M was very subdued and it was easy to see that he was very distressed by how he had totally lost control. Maud, I hate SSRIs. I didn't have any confidence in this prozac trial but did it because basically we are at the end of the line with meds. Theoretically a microdose of liquid prozac should have been OK and when Michael *finally* returned my call he said he does not understand what it is going on or the mechanisms in M's brain.
Ate too much takeaway pizza, drank too much wine.
Got up at 6am after very little sleep ::hate renovating neighbour who began hammering at 6am::. Started trying to make sense of the whole mess. Talked with Ma on the phone, cried a lot about how unfair that my whole life seems to be shrinking to dealing with a mentally ill child. We decided against the morning dose of prozac. Talked seriously about just going to the Mater and trying to have M admitted for assessment. I rang the Mater but they were very reluctant to see us as an emergency case and said that they would not change M's meds without Michael's involvement.
Michael finally called back at 11am. He'd been away. Agreed with the prozac decision but was at a loss to know what else we could do except go completely med-free. He was against having M admitted to the psych ward as he'd admitted a kid last week and the ward had simply given the kid serious drugs and sent him home. He's open to discussing an elective admission after the holidays to see if someone else can tweak the meds.
In desperation, I talked about G's meds and the similarities I see between G and M and their various drug reactions. We decided that I could do a trial and see if I can get M's moods stable. It's probably the mood swings and the lack of self-control which are the biggest issue ATM. The OCD and the anxiety seem to be reasonably manageable.
I am so tired that I honestly don't know how I am going to go on with life. Every time I think I've hit rockbottom, I discover new depths. No child should have to go through what M is going through.
Took M to my parents where I drank sherry and cried a lot. M was very subdued and it was easy to see that he was very distressed by how he had totally lost control. Maud, I hate SSRIs. I didn't have any confidence in this prozac trial but did it because basically we are at the end of the line with meds. Theoretically a microdose of liquid prozac should have been OK and when Michael *finally* returned my call he said he does not understand what it is going on or the mechanisms in M's brain.
Ate too much takeaway pizza, drank too much wine.
Got up at 6am after very little sleep ::hate renovating neighbour who began hammering at 6am::. Started trying to make sense of the whole mess. Talked with Ma on the phone, cried a lot about how unfair that my whole life seems to be shrinking to dealing with a mentally ill child. We decided against the morning dose of prozac. Talked seriously about just going to the Mater and trying to have M admitted for assessment. I rang the Mater but they were very reluctant to see us as an emergency case and said that they would not change M's meds without Michael's involvement.
Michael finally called back at 11am. He'd been away. Agreed with the prozac decision but was at a loss to know what else we could do except go completely med-free. He was against having M admitted to the psych ward as he'd admitted a kid last week and the ward had simply given the kid serious drugs and sent him home. He's open to discussing an elective admission after the holidays to see if someone else can tweak the meds.
In desperation, I talked about G's meds and the similarities I see between G and M and their various drug reactions. We decided that I could do a trial and see if I can get M's moods stable. It's probably the mood swings and the lack of self-control which are the biggest issue ATM. The OCD and the anxiety seem to be reasonably manageable.
I am so tired that I honestly don't know how I am going to go on with life. Every time I think I've hit rockbottom, I discover new depths. No child should have to go through what M is going through.
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Mozilla Firebird rocks. Everyone should d/l it now.
ROTK also seriously rocks. I ran away last Monday and went to see it all by myself. Awesome. I do wish they had included the Mouth of Sauron because it makes more sense of why Aragorn and Legolas look so despairing at the last battle.
Xmas went OK. My sister distinguished herself by defending our malicious grandmother on the grounds that Matilda had a crap childhood. I pointed out I wasn't malicious in spite of the horrors of my current life ;) and she said that my childhood was so good and my adulthood was a result of my poor decision making.
Bitch.
I pointed out that I hardly chose to have a partner diagnosed with bipolar and two kids with autism.
Then I left the room and howled with laughter.
My grandmother distinguished herself by hanging up on every person who called from overseas. G took her home about 6pm because my father was ready to throttle her. My BIL went with him so he could complain about my sister's drinking. Dear lord they have an awful relationship. They're so horrible to each other all the time.
Presents were pretty good. We got lots of yummy bath products and a set of Oneida salad servers and various other things. The kids did well too.
Food was excellent as always. We think we've won the battle of the roast beast. It's just too freaking hot to eat it so we might do a midwinter Xmas dinner and do platters for Xmas day.
The rest of the week has basically passed in a haze of withdrawing M from risperidone and endep and oh no, my pretties it has not been pretty. Nowhere near as evil as Effexor but he's been full of it. Now we're starting the liquid prozac which seems OK when it is working but 1/2 a ml is certainly nowhere near enough to keep him functional.
K has not had a decent poo in 12 days. 3 enemas have produced nothing. He's not a happy camper. High fibre day today with a doubling of exlax so hopefully it will pass tomorrow.
Neighbours who use power tools at 5am on New Year's Day morning are evil and should be shot.
ROTK also seriously rocks. I ran away last Monday and went to see it all by myself. Awesome. I do wish they had included the Mouth of Sauron because it makes more sense of why Aragorn and Legolas look so despairing at the last battle.
Xmas went OK. My sister distinguished herself by defending our malicious grandmother on the grounds that Matilda had a crap childhood. I pointed out I wasn't malicious in spite of the horrors of my current life ;) and she said that my childhood was so good and my adulthood was a result of my poor decision making.
Bitch.
I pointed out that I hardly chose to have a partner diagnosed with bipolar and two kids with autism.
Then I left the room and howled with laughter.
My grandmother distinguished herself by hanging up on every person who called from overseas. G took her home about 6pm because my father was ready to throttle her. My BIL went with him so he could complain about my sister's drinking. Dear lord they have an awful relationship. They're so horrible to each other all the time.
Presents were pretty good. We got lots of yummy bath products and a set of Oneida salad servers and various other things. The kids did well too.
Food was excellent as always. We think we've won the battle of the roast beast. It's just too freaking hot to eat it so we might do a midwinter Xmas dinner and do platters for Xmas day.
The rest of the week has basically passed in a haze of withdrawing M from risperidone and endep and oh no, my pretties it has not been pretty. Nowhere near as evil as Effexor but he's been full of it. Now we're starting the liquid prozac which seems OK when it is working but 1/2 a ml is certainly nowhere near enough to keep him functional.
K has not had a decent poo in 12 days. 3 enemas have produced nothing. He's not a happy camper. High fibre day today with a doubling of exlax so hopefully it will pass tomorrow.
Neighbours who use power tools at 5am on New Year's Day morning are evil and should be shot.
