Monday, August 30, 2004
Gah. I've been so slack with this blog.
M remains in hospital. The psychiatrist told his teacher that he would be there for another 2 weeks a week ago. I'm not seeing this as realistic. Diagnoses are fluctuating. This week he is PDD NOS. She wants to trial strattera which scares me shitless but I'm coming down to the wire that if the hospital stabilises him on strattera then they must find a way to fund it for him. I cannot pay $150 a month for meds. Her other dumb idea is concerta -- well, I'm trying to figure out why we would change from compounded dex to SR ritalin when he's been stable on the dex for years and always done badly on ritalin. Concerta is a mere $100 a month while the dex costs me $30 6 week's supply. I'm also bemused that for the last two weeks she was adamant he had no attentional issues whatsoever and now her first line of treatment is stim meds.
M's doing OK in the hospital and is very social. He came home this weekend and was perfectly behaved, pleasant and a joy. G visited him yesterday and he was a total snot. Reversal of what we had happening in the first weeks. I took him into school on Friday and it was lovely. The guys were so pleased to see him. He even got hugs from some of them. He did have a couple of exchanges with Reuben and Thai that were less than stellar but overall it was a good visit.
I'm not doing well with the psychiatrist. She's attempting to do family therapy with us but it's not working. She's finally moved past the idea that M will come home unmedicated and that all this drama has been caused by poor parenting choices. It's laughable really -- she asks me for a situation, tells me hwo I should ahve handled it and when I say well, actually that's how we handled it and it didn't work, she's at a loss. I flatly refused to use dragging him physically to his room *every single* time he put a foot wrong. I'm not into physical violence and I'm not interested in being physically attacked by M.
K's doing well. His language has taken off in leaps and bounds and he's very happy and settled at school. We need to do his IEP again and I need to get a bit more insistent on extension work I think. I caught a glimpse of his report card and there was some stuff in there about literacy concerns. I know he's reading better than he wants to let on and so I think some stretching might be in order.
Now I suppose I need to go and do some housework. Bleh.
M remains in hospital. The psychiatrist told his teacher that he would be there for another 2 weeks a week ago. I'm not seeing this as realistic. Diagnoses are fluctuating. This week he is PDD NOS. She wants to trial strattera which scares me shitless but I'm coming down to the wire that if the hospital stabilises him on strattera then they must find a way to fund it for him. I cannot pay $150 a month for meds. Her other dumb idea is concerta -- well, I'm trying to figure out why we would change from compounded dex to SR ritalin when he's been stable on the dex for years and always done badly on ritalin. Concerta is a mere $100 a month while the dex costs me $30 6 week's supply. I'm also bemused that for the last two weeks she was adamant he had no attentional issues whatsoever and now her first line of treatment is stim meds.
M's doing OK in the hospital and is very social. He came home this weekend and was perfectly behaved, pleasant and a joy. G visited him yesterday and he was a total snot. Reversal of what we had happening in the first weeks. I took him into school on Friday and it was lovely. The guys were so pleased to see him. He even got hugs from some of them. He did have a couple of exchanges with Reuben and Thai that were less than stellar but overall it was a good visit.
I'm not doing well with the psychiatrist. She's attempting to do family therapy with us but it's not working. She's finally moved past the idea that M will come home unmedicated and that all this drama has been caused by poor parenting choices. It's laughable really -- she asks me for a situation, tells me hwo I should ahve handled it and when I say well, actually that's how we handled it and it didn't work, she's at a loss. I flatly refused to use dragging him physically to his room *every single* time he put a foot wrong. I'm not into physical violence and I'm not interested in being physically attacked by M.
K's doing well. His language has taken off in leaps and bounds and he's very happy and settled at school. We need to do his IEP again and I need to get a bit more insistent on extension work I think. I caught a glimpse of his report card and there was some stuff in there about literacy concerns. I know he's reading better than he wants to let on and so I think some stretching might be in order.
Now I suppose I need to go and do some housework. Bleh.
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Feh, I say, feh.
Thursday, I got a phonecall from M's psychiatrist saying that she thought he needed to be home this weekend or risk feeling abandoned. Um, OK. She said she talked to him and he said he really wanted to be home. G was there during this talk and heard nothing of the sort.
Went in to pick him up on Friday. I had free tickets to the Ekka so was picking him up at 10am. Managed to have vicious argument with over running out of petrol. Got to the hospital, went to the school where everyone got upset with me. I was supposed to know that I had to go through the unit. Upset the teacher by insisting on speaking to M after he had seen me in the corridor. Went up to the unit where the nurse informed me that I didn't need to be worried about M and meds because nothing was at a therapeutic level. Umm, no. Depakote, maybe but risperidone, he's on a pretty standard dose for ASD.
The Ekka went OK. he was totally overwhelmed at having to choose rides and sample bags but dealt OK
Today's been a different story as he is right back into the stalking K, writhing on the floor crap and pacing. The charge nurse told me I could not take him back to hospital before Sunday evening -- I could just ring them and they would trouble shoot. Geez if all I needed was troubleshooting, we'd be fine. Problem is that we are right back into the same old crap and nothing I do works. He's with my parents tonight and we'll play tomorrow by ear.
Goddamnit, one of the things I was promised with this admission was that he would be in there during detox. I really don't think that coming home 24 hours after his last depakote pill counts. I know he's on tiny doses but that's because he's going apeshit on the standard doses.
Thursday, I got a phonecall from M's psychiatrist saying that she thought he needed to be home this weekend or risk feeling abandoned. Um, OK. She said she talked to him and he said he really wanted to be home. G was there during this talk and heard nothing of the sort.
Went in to pick him up on Friday. I had free tickets to the Ekka so was picking him up at 10am. Managed to have vicious argument with over running out of petrol. Got to the hospital, went to the school where everyone got upset with me. I was supposed to know that I had to go through the unit. Upset the teacher by insisting on speaking to M after he had seen me in the corridor. Went up to the unit where the nurse informed me that I didn't need to be worried about M and meds because nothing was at a therapeutic level. Umm, no. Depakote, maybe but risperidone, he's on a pretty standard dose for ASD.
The Ekka went OK. he was totally overwhelmed at having to choose rides and sample bags but dealt OK
Today's been a different story as he is right back into the stalking K, writhing on the floor crap and pacing. The charge nurse told me I could not take him back to hospital before Sunday evening -- I could just ring them and they would trouble shoot. Geez if all I needed was troubleshooting, we'd be fine. Problem is that we are right back into the same old crap and nothing I do works. He's with my parents tonight and we'll play tomorrow by ear.
Goddamnit, one of the things I was promised with this admission was that he would be in there during detox. I really don't think that coming home 24 hours after his last depakote pill counts. I know he's on tiny doses but that's because he's going apeshit on the standard doses.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I don't believe I have recently expressed how much I detest those freaking little psychopaths who live next door. they have found their stupid laser pointer and are entertaining themselves by shining it into my house. WTF their parents are doing I don't know. I do know that if my kids were out at night shining a laser pointer into the neightbour's houses I would know all about it and my kids would be in disgrace.
G informs me that since my meltdown at the kids when they were doing the harass M and K over the fence for hours on end, their parents are no longer speaking to us. Weirdly I didn't know that because I had ceased speaking to them.
G informs me that since my meltdown at the kids when they were doing the harass M and K over the fence for hours on end, their parents are no longer speaking to us. Weirdly I didn't know that because I had ceased speaking to them.
Today they did a blood test to check the depakote levels to see if he is at a therapeutic level and then started the withdrawal :(. G went in today for a few hours and I stayed home with K.
I hate the days where I don't get to see him :(. the hospital is 30 minutes away by freeway and an hour by public transport.
Yesterday I had the meeting with James the unit director and hatestabkill nurse. It went OK, Martin the nurse was just fine. he talked a bit much about how he was firm with M and that made all the difference. No shit Sherlock. M has been throwing tantrums more than I was originally told about.
In terms of diagnosis we're back to Aspergers. TG. I was clear that I think he is bipolar in addition to having some autistic traits but they are not seeing cycling. IMO he was pretty manic yesterday but I don't think they've seen him not manic.
Talked about therapy and I'm cool with that since James pointed out that we can see a psychiatrist on medicare and that will be almost free now I'm at the $300 threshold. Mind you, I don't think therapy is the answer for M, we need to sort meds as well.
We went back to the ward and Michael came up. There was zero crap about him visiting and James made a point of coming out to talk to him about M. James told me that there is a huge waiting list for the ward and we only got a bed so fast because it was Michael who asked because he usually manages his kids just fine. I'm not impressed to be the exception ;). I'm praying that Mitch, M's friend does get a bed. Spoke with his mum today and she's desperate, dealing with worse stuff than we were. Now I just hope that when Elizabeth comes back to work she's going to work with Michael.
Tonight I am moving K to his own bed. I am fed up with bedsharing with a kicking 6 yo. It's going to be a struggle as he is not keen. I want to do it while M is out of the house because I've always surrendered in the past when K upset M. If I can get K permanently in his bed this will be a good thing. I honestly don't think he would ever move out of my bed without assistance.
Lord I might even get to have a sex life again, private time with my husband.
I hate the days where I don't get to see him :(. the hospital is 30 minutes away by freeway and an hour by public transport.
Yesterday I had the meeting with James the unit director and hatestabkill nurse. It went OK, Martin the nurse was just fine. he talked a bit much about how he was firm with M and that made all the difference. No shit Sherlock. M has been throwing tantrums more than I was originally told about.
In terms of diagnosis we're back to Aspergers. TG. I was clear that I think he is bipolar in addition to having some autistic traits but they are not seeing cycling. IMO he was pretty manic yesterday but I don't think they've seen him not manic.
Talked about therapy and I'm cool with that since James pointed out that we can see a psychiatrist on medicare and that will be almost free now I'm at the $300 threshold. Mind you, I don't think therapy is the answer for M, we need to sort meds as well.
We went back to the ward and Michael came up. There was zero crap about him visiting and James made a point of coming out to talk to him about M. James told me that there is a huge waiting list for the ward and we only got a bed so fast because it was Michael who asked because he usually manages his kids just fine. I'm not impressed to be the exception ;). I'm praying that Mitch, M's friend does get a bed. Spoke with his mum today and she's desperate, dealing with worse stuff than we were. Now I just hope that when Elizabeth comes back to work she's going to work with Michael.
Tonight I am moving K to his own bed. I am fed up with bedsharing with a kicking 6 yo. It's going to be a struggle as he is not keen. I want to do it while M is out of the house because I've always surrendered in the past when K upset M. If I can get K permanently in his bed this will be a good thing. I honestly don't think he would ever move out of my bed without assistance.
Lord I might even get to have a sex life again, private time with my husband.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
This is really hard shit to manage. It's really hard to visit him and leave him there. We took K up today which wasn't such a good move for either kid.
It's the lack of control which I am finding hard to cope with. I asked to see his food diary and was basically refused. I'm not getting particularly detailed feedback about what's going on with him. The whole theme seems to be back off and don't worry. When I visit him, I feel like an interruption to his life instead of being his mother.
He's doing OK although he's in constant movement and having trouble concentrating on a conversation. Ashley has fallen in love with him and he's remarkably patient with her considering she's pretty seriously intellectually handicapped.
Some kids on that ward don't seem to have any visitors :(. Some of the nurses seemed so impressed that M had his grandparents take him out in the morning and us there in the afternoon.
I just wanna bring him home but watching him with K this afternoon I could see that we would rapidly be back where we were a week ago and that just has to stop.
It's the lack of control which I am finding hard to cope with. I asked to see his food diary and was basically refused. I'm not getting particularly detailed feedback about what's going on with him. The whole theme seems to be back off and don't worry. When I visit him, I feel like an interruption to his life instead of being his mother.
He's doing OK although he's in constant movement and having trouble concentrating on a conversation. Ashley has fallen in love with him and he's remarkably patient with her considering she's pretty seriously intellectually handicapped.
Some kids on that ward don't seem to have any visitors :(. Some of the nurses seemed so impressed that M had his grandparents take him out in the morning and us there in the afternoon.
I just wanna bring him home but watching him with K this afternoon I could see that we would rapidly be back where we were a week ago and that just has to stop.
Friday, August 06, 2004
He's doing OK. today was hard because the other kids were going on weekend leave and his psychiatrist rang me to say that she thought it was too soon. I had to really remind myself of the horror that was last weekend and decide to stick to plan A. I had no idea they did weekend leaves in the unit. Maude, my evaluationis not going to be stellar about communication.
On tuesday I have a meeting with the doctor to go over her diagnosis and discuss where we go from here. It's laready pretty clear that my worst case scenario isn't going to happen -- the one where they just tell me my parenting sucked and send him home ;).
Next week is a fucking nightmare though. K's home from school on Monday because it's our district's Brisbane show Day. Tuesday's OK, Wednesday, M gets his Brisbane Show day as he's in a different district and K has a pupil free day. Thursday is M's pupil free day and it's sports day at school and I want to keep K home because he bolts and either he needs a parent there all freaking day or he doesn't go.
My parents rock. My dad's cooking me a week's worth of meals this weekend and they'll have K whenever I need to them to. The hospital is distinctly non-K friendly and it makes life so much easier when they have him.
On tuesday I have a meeting with the doctor to go over her diagnosis and discuss where we go from here. It's laready pretty clear that my worst case scenario isn't going to happen -- the one where they just tell me my parenting sucked and send him home ;).
Next week is a fucking nightmare though. K's home from school on Monday because it's our district's Brisbane show Day. Tuesday's OK, Wednesday, M gets his Brisbane Show day as he's in a different district and K has a pupil free day. Thursday is M's pupil free day and it's sports day at school and I want to keep K home because he bolts and either he needs a parent there all freaking day or he doesn't go.
My parents rock. My dad's cooking me a week's worth of meals this weekend and they'll have K whenever I need to them to. The hospital is distinctly non-K friendly and it makes life so much easier when they have him.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
M is in hospital.
I am sad.
I am tired.
He was admitted yesterday and he seemed relieved to be finally admitted. It took forever. I took him shopping in the morning and my mother took us in to the unit in the afternoon. He's in a room with a stellar view of downtown Brisbane and the river.
The intake session with the psychiatrist was gruelling. She is seriously questioning his autism diagnosis and was really digging for bipolar info. I've got mixed feelings about her. She didn't appear to be particularly open to working with Michael which could be a drag. She's very keen to trial strattera ::pause for howl of disbelief:: but needs to research it. I'm pretty against it as the reboxetine tipped him into rapid cycling. Michael said he would see her tomorrow morning if he possibly could so I hope that works out. I'm totally lost in regards to lines of communication. The hospital teacher rang Mel and got his IEP faxed through and Mel also organised a note from his friends.
the truly bizarre thing is that M's best friend is to be admitted to the unit in the next week! I saw Sharon today and she said they are at their wits's end with Mitch and an admission was arranged yesterday. I'm very undecided about how I feel about this.
I hate M's nurse with a passion of a thousand suns and I want to have a big screaming match with the man. I had four encounters with him today and every single one of them turned into a power play. He's a prick.
I am sad.
I am tired.
He was admitted yesterday and he seemed relieved to be finally admitted. It took forever. I took him shopping in the morning and my mother took us in to the unit in the afternoon. He's in a room with a stellar view of downtown Brisbane and the river.
The intake session with the psychiatrist was gruelling. She is seriously questioning his autism diagnosis and was really digging for bipolar info. I've got mixed feelings about her. She didn't appear to be particularly open to working with Michael which could be a drag. She's very keen to trial strattera ::pause for howl of disbelief:: but needs to research it. I'm pretty against it as the reboxetine tipped him into rapid cycling. Michael said he would see her tomorrow morning if he possibly could so I hope that works out. I'm totally lost in regards to lines of communication. The hospital teacher rang Mel and got his IEP faxed through and Mel also organised a note from his friends.
the truly bizarre thing is that M's best friend is to be admitted to the unit in the next week! I saw Sharon today and she said they are at their wits's end with Mitch and an admission was arranged yesterday. I'm very undecided about how I feel about this.
I hate M's nurse with a passion of a thousand suns and I want to have a big screaming match with the man. I had four encounters with him today and every single one of them turned into a power play. He's a prick.
Monday, August 02, 2004
Feh. I was right about the risperidone. It was doing something because he's manically out of control tonight. It was a pretty awful day as well. Rage attacks, swearing and other fun stuff. the scatological talk was gone as was the removal of clothing but he was still pretty hyped.
G and I just talked and agreed we have about another 48 hours of coping in us. Meagan rang this morning to tell me she's left the agency but still wants to see M regularly because she loves him ::sniff::. She's taking him tomorrow morning and with any luck he'll manage to go to school for the afternoon.
Other than dealing with a mentally ill child, I really do not have a life. I did washing, washed dishes and made food and that was it. completed on my grant applications because Ma decided it was due on Friday. She's wrong but at least the damned thing is done.
M and I watched Regency House Party last night. It was fun. Then he made himself thoroughly unpleasant so I didn't get to watch Pride and Prejudice.
http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/R/regencyhouse/
It's raining! For the first time since February! Please please please let us get a sustained downpour. My garden is in dire straits.
G and I just talked and agreed we have about another 48 hours of coping in us. Meagan rang this morning to tell me she's left the agency but still wants to see M regularly because she loves him ::sniff::. She's taking him tomorrow morning and with any luck he'll manage to go to school for the afternoon.
Other than dealing with a mentally ill child, I really do not have a life. I did washing, washed dishes and made food and that was it. completed on my grant applications because Ma decided it was due on Friday. She's wrong but at least the damned thing is done.
M and I watched Regency House Party last night. It was fun. Then he made himself thoroughly unpleasant so I didn't get to watch Pride and Prejudice.
http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/R/regencyhouse/
It's raining! For the first time since February! Please please please let us get a sustained downpour. My garden is in dire straits.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Terrible no good awful day. He was manic, talking and pacing continually. Lots of joking about farts and wee and scatological stuff. Now while 11 yo boys like that kind of stuff I know, this was beyond normal. he kept taking his clothes off. It's the middle of winter here!
Very oppositional and irritable as well. Emailed Michael and he suggested taking the risperidone out. I'm not keen. the other times I've done that he's raged and not slept. I do not have what it takes to do an allnighter with him. I also don't believe that there is a funky reaction between the risperidone and the epilim.
I'm sick of being in survival mode. I want to move on to the next stage. It's not working.
Very oppositional and irritable as well. Emailed Michael and he suggested taking the risperidone out. I'm not keen. the other times I've done that he's raged and not slept. I do not have what it takes to do an allnighter with him. I also don't believe that there is a funky reaction between the risperidone and the epilim.
I'm sick of being in survival mode. I want to move on to the next stage. It's not working.
