Florilegium

G is a horrible horrible man while I am the picture of serenity and calm energy ;). It's been a bad week with lots of bickering but I think we are through it. he sucks and I am perfect of course.

K came through his surgery just fine. I'd opt for a morning operation in the future. he was nil by mouth from 7am and the op happened at 2.15. Seriously not good although he was very well behaved. Another parent commented to Ma how happy and good he was and Ma said not bad for a kid with autism and the parent was amazed. ::beams::. I like our new gastro -- she was very thorough and did heaps of blood tests while he was under. Had nasty mix up with the anaesthetist -- talked with one who was keen to use mask, told K that there would be no needles, he went on lunch and we ended up with a needle and K went berserk.

Insanely hot weather here. Over 41 degrees, horrid.

The wild grey mouse escaped but was back in the other mouse's cage tonight. M got a shock to see the little guy bouncing around the cage. I've put him in the other cage and I don't think he can escape again.

G's negotiating to write a series of books from a TV series and today they asked him for numbers. EEEeeeeeeep. Very hard to think of numbers for a lump sum pay out.

Bitter hatred.

Blogger just ate a long post.

Summary -- am packing it that K's having a biopsy under GA tomorrow. G and I are squabbling. M is stressy.

We have a new mouse - -a wild mouse fell into the mousecage on teh weekend and now we have this tiny wild grey mouse. So cute.

Hot, hot, hot! Still so freaking HOT that's unbearable. The pool's like soup to swim in. I cleaned the airconditioning units's filters and they worked a bit better last night. Heh, the first summer we were here I called a repair guy as the units stopped working. He showed me how to clean the filters and laughed himself sick. I didn't know to do it!

Storms predicted for this afternoon so here's hoping. My parents gave us a gas cooker this weekend so that will come in handy if we get yet more severe power cuts.

When I'm losing weight slowly, it is very unfair to have the stretchmarks from hell show up on my thighs.

G's hanging the new curtains in the living room. Astounds me that this can take hours and hours and hours. They're vibrant curtains -- when I saw them again after my mother finished sewing then I did think OMFG WTF were we thinking but they look good in situ.

IEP meeting at school today at 3. Blech. Not in mood for it. Not in mood for anything after serious night of insomnia.

Another production company rang this morning looking for copies of G's books. Cross fingers.

The house will settle this Friday as the home owner grant has been, umm, errr, granted? Got the letter this morning to say it was all in order and they would pay out the $7000. Huge relief as otherwise we would be flat broke and borrowing huge sums from my parents to settle.

Hot, hot, hot. It's so freaking HOT!

G met with the TV production people this morning and they are really keen. Talk of turning one book into a 52 part series. I'm just hoping something comes to fruitition and soon. I'd like to do more than just sell rights, it would be nice if he actually did the writing so that we got the serious money. Heh.

Sent a reply to the NY agent and haven't heard back. Have no idea whether she will concede the Aust and NZ markets to us but I cannot see how she could make enough $ to justify the 25% cut she's asking for.

Ma took K to school this morning (well m and I went along too). Rebecca said that while his hours won't be cut =:0, they will be rearranged as a result of the unit losing funding this week. Talked to Mel about M starting school and it looks like it will be in about a month's time and that they have no plans to have K there full time this term. Not happy about that at all, esp considering he was in 30 hours a week childcare prior to this. We've got an IEP meeting on Monday and I'll get serious about finding out WTF they have in mind.

Went to the hyperdome and did some shopping and went to the library. M was reasonably well behaved for someone who was very bored and didn't want to be there in the first place.

It turns out that I did a week's worth of homework with K in one night. who knew the standards were set so low?

K's second day of staying 3 hours and it went well. Rebecca commented that he uses her name and he is about the only kid in the unit who does so. I gave her the terrible bad no good report from the Mater back in 2000 and she was amazed at how far we have come in this 4 years. We talked about how he's got weird gaps but honestly, his gaps are so mild compared to M's truly weird gaps.

Having an interesting time with M at the moment with getting him to follow written instructions. he's well able to do the work, he just has problems figuring out what they are asking. He's always deciding that the question is far more complex than it really is. His reading comprehension is just fine so I'm hoping it's just a momentary attack of stupid. I'm putting together a portfolio for the school and we're doing a lot of dictation with me as scribe. Always avoided it before because I don't care about written output so much but I think we'll need it for the school to get a real idea of what he can do.

Hot, hot, hot. Swam this afternoon and feel cooler. I did some desultory housework this morning. The dust hippos are taking over the bedrooms. Wish I felt more motivated and more energetic.

G's just told me he needs to be at a meeting tonight. TAFE so it will be boring boring boring. The letter he got strongly implied that failure to attend would equal failure to be offered work in the coming semester so I guess he's in luck and has to go.

Again today throwing up my hands in horror and telling G to deal worked like a charm, G was beginning to accuse me of perseverating when I pointed out that I had told M not to do the work, walked away at least 4 times, told him I wasn't interested/available, had done the work with him and quite frankly couldn't see how I was supposed to end the transaction when M wouldn't leave me alone. Goddamnit I don't perseverate ;)

Friday night went out for my mother's 60th with her staff. We went to the Landmark in Sunnybank -- awesome awesome authentic Chinese food. Crab, chicken, fish, vegetarian, it was all amazing stuff. I can live without sea cucumber though. Had a fantastic time. My sister was there and as obnoxious as always. I know she doesn't approve of K's acceleration so she had to put up with how excited the childcare staff are about it. heh. G rang at 10.30 to see when I would be home to put K to bed. Ummmmmm WTF? I then left the phone on while I shared with everyone what a twit he was. Oooooops.

We went for coffee at Garden City and I was home around midnight.

Saturday I made desserts -- the chocolate/morello cherry brownie refused to set so I called it a mousse. We went to my parents for a family BBQ for my mother. Food was good as always although my sister and BIL decided to share in waaaaaaaay too much depth the filth that was left behind in their rental flat by junkies. Yech. If I wanna hear about that over dinner, I'll just rent Trainspotting.

Peter Beattie and Labor were returned to power and I made the comment that I hope they follow through on their promises on disability and my dear sister told me that really my problems were nothing, other people really struggled. Gee, thanks for sharing that. Another classic moment was when she was talking about how one of her patients died on Thursday night and my mother commented on how Ambrose dying must have affected her nursing and her insight into how parents feel. Oh no, she trilled, her children nearly dying is what helps her. Reality check people please? My niece was induced at 37 weeks in no danger of dying and my nephew was delivered at term, breech by c/sec in no danger of dying. My son died but of course my experience means nothing.

Gah.

Glad I see so little of my sister overall. Of course we have the inestimable pleasure of her working on the ward that K will be admitted to although he will be in a unit she doesn't work on. If he needs major surgery, then wheeeeeee! we'll be on her ward. She's asked me to pretend we are friends so she doesn't lose work if he's admitted. Quite frankly, I think she can go f*ck herself unless she agrees to not come near me and if she does, to at least pretend to have some sympathy and empathy. She was telling Debbie on Friday night how important it is in her work to have empathy and sympathy for parents and I was dying to ask her how she managed to fake it as I've yet to have either from her.

Today I had quality time with the dentist. it's either have a tooth pulled or a $600 root canal. I'm inclining towards the pulling as I can have it done under a general and have my wisdom teeth pulled as well at the same time. That option will be about $1000 but then it will all be done whereas if I do the root canal and the general and the wisdom teeth it will cost an unholy butt-ton more.

had a hideous serious migraine on Saturday night -- I drank scotch for the first time in a decade and it's obviously still a trigger. I threw up several times and was very very miserable. I woke up too late to use imitrex, the migraine was in full flight when I woke. had a ghastly day with more migraining on Sunday and another mild one this morning. I sent G to school with K and to pick him up. he had a good time and actually put his hand up to answer a question in class. I'm hoping that we can stretch him to half days very soon as I'm sure he can cope although I understand about their staffing issues.

G's gone off to the city to see an Artslaw lawyer about the NY contract. He keeps wanting me to be interested and involved and I just don't have it in me. AFAICS it's an OK contract except for the beastly domestic/foreign market crap and I'm sure that's negotiable.

More mortgage crap on Friday. Wonder if we will settle on the 20th. Seriously doubt it somehow. Panic-stricken phonecalls about the whereabouts of contracts 10 days after the paperwork should have been submitted doesn't inspire much confidence really.

I think I can really get into making G be the disciplinarian. I don't care it cut into his work day. I don't care that he didn't want to do it.

I do care that he got a positive outcome I never could have achieved and that I didn't have 2 kids in vapour lock mode. M decided to use K's computer without asking, K melted down bigtime and I really thought K had a point so I delivered a weeping K to G and said he could either get M off K's computer or he could console K. I'd failed at both objectives and I was about to lose my temper.

K had a spectacular day at school. Spent an hour in the classroom, joining in the classwork and playing with the other kids. We're stretching out his day next week. Talked with Rebecca about handwriting and my stance on handwriting. which dovetails neatly with the unit's stance on handwriting. It doesn't have to be neat, if the kid writes at all, they're thrilled. ::pause for happy dance:: No cursive crap! No stupid OT to remediate the unremediable!

I've just been rereading this blog, trying to get some sense of how the medication changes have gone in the past.

Realised I bitch about g a lot. I think it's a result of way too much time together ;). We do get on well together most of the time but I use this blog to vent. Living and working together is a hell of a challenge especially under the kind of stress we're constantly facing. Sometimes I'd like more space and clearer boundaries but it's not going to happen.

Heeeeee. I'm drinking wine and allowing G to be Parent A and manage M who is becoming increasingly obnoxious.

I do believe I am getting my revenge for the session with Michael this morning as I am not observing any revolutionarily splendid parenting which is leading to impeccable behaviour on M's part. I am thinking I will do a lot more standing back while he parents.

YK if G and M *have* to watch reality TV, the least they could do is put the sound on so they can figure out what is going on instead of speculating.

G has a meeting with a major screen production company who are opening a studio on the Gold Coast. If this works out (we know they're looking for Australian content) well, um, I guess that could be a really good thing. He's got a couple of scripts ready to go. I'd like to wrap something up before we sign with the NY agent or negotiate that we deal with NZ/Australian markets so we don't have to give her such a totally insane percentage.

It would be seriously weird not to be seriously poor all the time.

Bleh and Feh and Meh.

Terrible, no-good, awful session with Michael this morning with no particularly realistic outcomes. We're getting nowhere with meds so now it's back to fun times with behaviour mods. G shared freely about my failings as a parent which led to me cheerfully abdicating my role as front-line person when M meltdowns. I do not think it will be as easy as G thinks for G to prevent the meltdowns and most importantly make M go to his room and cool down.

I'm also snickering because exercise was discussed and G has to exercise M and himself vigorously every day.

Back on risperidone as well. Blech.

Discussed school as an option because it seems like more structure in M's life could help him manage himself better. I've been considering that for a while so we'll give it a go later in the term.

Dropped K at school and he didn't even cry! Little rotter. He spent two hours there, 40 minutes in the classroom. They moved his desk closer to the door ::boggles::. Did the forms for ST and OT and apparently he should be seen in the next 2 weeks.

The gastro finally rang back. Same old, same old. Told him that Michael was concerned about the effect of the enemas on K's developmental delays but he just said that he thought that leakage would be worse. Well, yes but if there's a physical problem then he's never going to train is he?

So we were bleating about stool softeners -- hell yeah, when it's practically liquid, those make real sense -- enemas -- posture... all the same old stuff and I finally got sick of it and reminded him that he did say we would do more if nothing changed and nothing has changed and I'm getting unwilling to persevere.

He conceded that while he expects to find nothing at all it probably is time to investigate (ya reckon?), do a rectal exam and suction biopsy under anaesthetic. Yeeeeees! Feb 18 and it is to be done publicly so no charge. Yeeeeeeessssss!

I know that I will deal with whatever outcome we have. I just want to know what's going on. If he needs longterm management like this because it's structurally OK down there, I can cope. I just can't cope with the unknown.

Does wine count as dinner? g seems to think not but then he thinks I drink too much wine, however can discount his opinion as he doesn't drink at all.

I can't be bothered to eat. A miracle occurred and G cooked his dinner and the kids's dinner. Mumbled at me about eating but I'm still not interested.

M was vile today. Began homeschooling again and he was really keen to do Mavis Beacon to get his typing speed up. Of course we can't find the fecking thing so he melted down over that. We've simply got too many CDRoms to keep track of them all. M's very vocal about K's echolalia which is fun for all of us as K gets worse when M upsets him.

Took K to school and it went well. He went into the classroom and did some work. Played on their computer. He answered when the teacher asked him when his birthday was. She was playing a game with the whole group so it's pretty good he managed to reply. Shame he told her his birthday was in March. Went back to the unit and he did work with his other aide while Rebecca and I talked. She suggested a CBT program which I could do at home, it's a workbook. I asked her if she knew of any psychs on this side of town who were good but she said she's not allowed to suggest any. I'm confused in that case why they can suggest ST and OT but whatever. She's bringing me the ph no of a practice where they train parents to do CBT. Cool.

Came home, lay down on sofa and went to sleep. I slept very badly last night. Ate lunch about 2.30 pm which might be why I am not hungry now.

I rang the gastro this morning but he's not returned my call. I'd honestly rather make an appt and pay for it so I can get the info as opposed to playing phone tag for days on end. Rang paed, Glynis said no appts until Thursday but I made her look until she found one as we're not going to survive until then. Appt tomorrow at 10.30 and I hope we get somewhere.

Pros of tricyclic -- eats and sleeps
Cons of tricyclic -- uncontrollable mood swings and apparent total lack of impulse control. hates falling asleep at 8.30pm. I like it myself.

OMFG it is HOT. Over 90 degrees in the early evening. No storms last night or this afternoon. Could do with a storm to cool things off.

M was difficult yesterday but marginally better today with an increase in meds. Emailed Michael and he's asked me to come in for a consult on what we are going to do. Fun, fun, fun. More med changes. I hope he's networked to a psych he can recommend because I certainly haven't been successful.

So this week's to do list.

Ring gastro and extract information and decision from him
Make appt with paed for M
Send certificate of currency to lawyers even though they still haven't spelled my name right. have surrendered on this so hope lawyers will too.
Ring FHOG and check whether cheesebrain has submitted application. Raise hell if he hasn't.
Begin homeschooling M again
Go to school with K and continue fading from the room as much as possible
Weed garden if fancy takes me
Clean house. heh